A few weeks ago my family and my family's closest friends who-feel-like-family-and-I-call-aunt-and-uncle travelled from all over the world to convene in a church in Lobito, a coastal town in Angola.
When a family travels and gathers more than 100 people, you might think it's either for a wedding or a funeral. But it was for a more unique experience: my grandmother turned 100. Not only was she healthy enough to live to this day, my mother (her daughter) was so happy. I felt I was at my mother's wedding, honestly. I don't think I have memories of seeing my mother happy in my life, and that is a good memory I will keep forever.
About my grandmother, there is nothing short of a miracle that she reached that age. She was born in Angola in 1926. At the time, it was a Portuguese-colony. She lived through being abandoned by a parent, being adopted, losing siblings, gaining siblings out of friendships, through draughts and floods. She went through a World War from afar as well as a 14-year-long Independence War right at her doorstep, between 1961 and 1975. Right when one could think that at last, the Angolan people would know how to live freely and start anew, a devastating war started, lasting over two decades until 2002.
I remember asking my grandmother if she had known about Adolf Hitler when she was younger, to which she replied "I would hear on the radio that he was a murderer over there in Europe. But we had it much worse here and I didn't need the radio to know about it". My grandmother lost several friends and family members along the way. And so did millions of Angolans. We just don't have a Steven Spielberg movie about.
Yet she survived to tell the story, with a sweetness that is so characteristic of her as well as her very soft skin I touched in several embraces during her birthday celebrations. July is wintertime in Angola so I could only conclude that my grandmother has lived 100 Winters and has seen it all.
Her resilience made me think so much about life decisions and what makes us prepare for longevity. I am sure my grandmother never thought about it - all she did throughout her life was survive in uncertainty - yet it made me want to celebrate being alive, being a woman, getting older and the joy of winter as a whole.
Celebrating... a Great Return
There is a tag going viral over the past months called "things I find chic" where people name what they find chic in the people around them or in themselves. I have been considering diving into the trend and writing about things I find chic such as...
... women who wear beautiful scarves, especially if they have an equestrian pattern
... a person calling out when someone says something offensive or racist in front of them at a table or in a WhatsApp group
... women who split the bill 50/50 with their (male) partners
And the list could go on and on for hundreds of lines. But you know what I find incredibly chic? People who return to destinations they've visited before, purely by choice (not for work or a mandatory family visit), simply because they love going back. I know someone who only alternates trips between Paris, London and New York, year after year. I think that is soooo chic.
Just two days after my grandmother's grand bash, I left for a couple of days in South Africa to celebrate my husband's pre-40 birthday. I just love returning to Cape Town and winter there is my absolute favourite. I love revisiting the places I love (like Mont Rochelle in Franschhoek or the Oranjezicht City Food Market by the Waterfront) as well as trying new places. I will always go back to Cape Town whenever possible and it doesn't hurt that I find it incredibly chic.
Celebrating... a Great Recipe (and Newsletter)!
I have followed Beth Le Manach from Entertaining with Beth for almost two decades. Through the years, I have loved her upbeat mood, her carefully explained recipes and her love for all things French, which I relate to. Not only did she marry a French man, but as her daughters went off to university, she moved from California to the French Atlantic Coast a few years ago. Thus confirming there is no age to make such a bold move in your life!
This week I dove into one of her latest newsletters about the power of the gratin, a way of baking any food in a creamy sauce and under lots of cheese. Say no more: I was hooked!
It was not easy finding the zucchini but as soon as I found them, I followed her recipe (with the rotisserie chicken version) to a tee, and as the bubbly cast iron casserole was removed from the oven, my husband predicted "That looks amazing". A couple of bites later, he affirmed... "This was your best dish ever". I was quite happy with the result and will be doing it again. Now that I nailed the recipe, I will try with other ingredients, such as tomatoes, mushrooms, carrots or broccoli. Regardless of the variations, this is a recipe I see myself repeating for years and years.
Celebrating... a Great Classic Film (or two)
A few months ago, my husband and I decided to revisit classic films we hadn't seen before or hadn't watched in years. I have a hard time watching movies nowadays. Yet I can't forget that I used to watch a lot of movies when I was much younger - as I was basically raised in front of a TV screen - so I think I saw some movies a bit too early for me, which adult me must rewatch to fully grasp its messages. We started by The Godfather (1972) by Francis Ford Coppola and last week we watched Awakenings (1990) with Robin Williams and Robert de Niro, inspired by a book from Oliver Sacks MD, who wrote The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat which I read a few years ago. Quite an interesting one.
Back to the movies: The Godfather is iconic and has very famous scenes and punchlines I can now place back in the movie. Yet it is a movie of its time with very questionable and triggering storylines (like a man casually beating his pregnant wife... I mean... what?).
By contrast, I had never heard of Awakenings, that tackles the aftermath of the encephalitic epidemic in the US, how for a few days there seemed to be a cure and how things took an unexpected turn. Robert de Niro is absolutely tremendous in it.
As movies are proof of the test of time, my husband made a list with ones he wants to watch and I made another.
My husband's classic movie suggestions
1 - The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
2 - Rain Man (1988)
3 - Glory (1989)
4 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
5 - The Color Purple (1985)
6 - Good Will Hunting (1997)
7 - To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
8 - Awakenings (1990) - done!
9 - Psycho (1960)
10 - 12 Angry Men (1957)
My classic movie suggestions
1 - Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
2 - Forrest Gump (1994)
3 - Casablanca (1942)
4 - How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
5 - Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
6 - Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
7 - Il Postino (1994)
8 - The Birds (1963)
9 - Dead Poets Society (1989)
10 - To Sir, With Love (1967)
Which list would you prefer to follow along?
Celebrating... a Great Heroine
My goal is to read a book per week in 2026 and the last book I read in July was Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth. Sally is an Australian thriller writer and I used to follow her on Instagram. She has a self-deprecating sense of humour and a great sense of style. I read her books The Mother-In-Law and The Soulmate a few years ago and I love her fast-paced books that delve deeply into family dramas. Mad Mabel was no exception, and I loved it too. I was a few chapters in and I immediately thought of a friend I wanted to order it for.
The book revolves around the dual timeline of Elsie Mabel Fitzpatrick: as an 81-year-old living in a quiet street in Melbourne and as a child and teenager navigating the hurdles that shaped her adulthood. And how, as people around her started to die, she thrillingly became Mad Mabel.
I love that this book is yet another one with an older female main character, such as The Switch, The Thursday Night Murder Club series and The Correspondent.
There is a growing space and a full life to write about and still to live no matter the woman's age.
Jess
Celebrating... a Great Conversation
A dear friend introduced me to the podcast Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus a few days ago. I had heard of the actress yet I don't think I have seen any of the TV shows that she was on, so she wasn't organically on my radar.
One of the episodes my friend recommended was with Chilean-American writer Isabel Allende, who just turned 84 this week. I read one of her books - The House of the Spirits - a few years ago, intrigued by scenes from the movie I had seen far too young as a child.
I loved the conversation and learning more about Isabel, she is a very open and fun woman, who talks genuinely about her life, from decisions she regrets to getting married recently. The most intriguing part was about her relationship with her mother and how that turned her into a writer.
Isabel shares that she only became a writer when she turned 40 years old. I love that I heard that a few weeks before turning 40 myself. It cements that the best is really yet to come in the new decade before me. I recommend listening to this episode.
Jess
Celebrating... a Great Road Trip
It's one of my controversial travel opinions and I stand by it: a road trip is a full-on trip! It does not need an airplane to be important and memorable. Quite the opposite! My father was a masterful road-tripper and he gave all his kids the road trip bug. We all love it. Getting into a car and venturing off for hours until the next destination. Everything happens inside a car, and everything is important: the songs shared, the silences, the conversation, the nearly missed accidents...
To head to my grandmother's celebrations, my siblings got in my car on a Saturday morning by 6AM and arrived at our destination after lunchtime. And the same on the way back the Monday after. Those journeys will be forever engraved in my mind as this was my first road trip with both my husband and my siblings, where I could also see them bonding, my husband listening to our childhood stories (some a bit trauma-inducing, but overall, mostly fun).
I have not written about 99% of the road trips I have been to in my life but some already have their diaries, like a journey through northern Italy, falling in love with Scotland, going from the Algarve to the North of Portugal, more recently our self driving adventure in Namibia and the road trip from the Lake District to Scotland when we got engaged.
Can you guess where we are headed next?
Just celebrating... Life!
Last but not least, I want to share a picture I took with my grandmother on her 100th birthday. It's not my best picture yet it's my favourite one and she looks great in it. Does it make sense?
I hope that's how celebrations always are: they don't need to be perfect from start to finish. They just need to be fully lived, becoming memories worth returning to.
